i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
