he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
