those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Randomize
