I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
