I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
