My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
