If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
