i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Fuck appropriateness.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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