yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
