so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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