Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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