I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Damn victory sex feels great
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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