I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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