i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
