No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
