youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
