This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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