yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
