I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
