I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
