My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Randomize
