I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
