Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
