you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
