So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
