Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
