therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
