make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
