she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
