he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
