i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
