definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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