How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
