So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
