Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
