I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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