He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
