just come out here and I will go home with you...
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
