5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Never joke about your clitoris.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
