Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
