eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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