Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
