Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
