One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
My pussy is not your playground.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
