angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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