Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
