I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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