just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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