Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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