I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
