it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
vagina is talking i cant
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
