oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
