im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Randomize
