We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
