I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
